“HELD CAPTIVE”

MODEL: JARROD NEERMAN FOR LINDA LAYMAN AGENCY

HELD CAPTIVE

Where have I been? Where have I gone to? What happened? Are you okay? Is something wrong? These are questions I’ve been asked a lot lately. And quite frankly I’m not. I’ve been reclusive these past few weeks- making short appearances here and there but keeping myself away from others because it’s easier to hide than lie. The truth is I’ve been suffering. It’s like I bear this burden of sadness and grief on my shoulders that won’t leave me. It’s like I have 500 million things on my mind yet I can’t seem to make things come together. It’s like I go from the highest of highest to the lowest of lowest within mere seconds. It’s like every breath I take is a punishment.

In the past I have had bouts of depression and anxiety that I’ve found the courage and strength to shake it off. But this time it’s different. This time I feel like a prisoner in my own body. I proceed with as much normalcy as one can see within appearances but deep down inside I feel lost and overwhelmed. I’ve spent a year of change to surpass a previous life (that still plagues me). But with all these positive actions I still find it not enough to get pass my unhappiness.

I decided that in search of solace, I would channel this era of life within my art. This body of work is an explanation of what it feels like to live dealing with depression and anxiety as well as the catalyst to my current state. I was apprehensive doing something this raw and honest but it has been cathartic to make visual imagery to tell my story. I present my latest work- “In the Absence of You & Me”.

“Set The World on Fire”

All the beautiful things in the world have been set on fire. Smoke fills the atmosphere leaving plumes of white & black dancing with one another as the flames grow higher and higher torching the ceiling. The heat melts everything around it and causes combustion as it scorches my skin- cornering me into a deadlock. I see everything around me burning down and all I can do is stand there and let it go. I can’t save the world.